Drive & Draw... Respect & Rapport

A horse has to have both in order to listen, do what you ask (or communicate) and have enthusiasm. If he doesn't respect you he might do what you want but he'll be sticking his tongue out at you or not do it at all, and if he doesn't have a rapport with you he's likely to be scared of you- doesn't feel safe and/or comfortable around you. Horses aren't afraid people are going to hurt them, they're afraid they're (we're) going to kill them. Knowing that, doesn't it make more sense why sometimes a horse's reactions are so extreme, in our eyes?
Anyways, horses' hierarchy of needs goes like this: 1- Safety, 2- Comfort, 3- Play & 4- Food. That's why trying to get a horse in a trailer, stable, vet stall, etc. with cookies doesn't work. He doesn't feel safe. Now, here's where the trouble starts... If they feel safe, comfortable and they have others to play with then motivation to play or want to be with us (in this case, ME) can be nil.
So last night I went out with the plan to just play in some way with Maliki and rasp (a rasp looks like, and is, a giant nail file for horse's) a hoof. In the almost 5 acre pasture where they're kept there's a smaller corral in a corner, maybe 80'x80'. I'd had it closed off for the past few days so when I opened it up all the horses wanted to go in and look around. Horses will be curious when they're confident, and they're confident when those first 2 things are met. Red rolled before following King back out the gate. (Note: for a horse to roll with a person around is huge! They're in very vulnerable position so its the ultimate test of confidence, and in some ways is a compliment.) Maliki saw that the other 2 were out and slowly walked over to me, after having sniffed the barrels that were in there. I had only my stick (4' long and stiff with a 6' string) so I played at Liberty- no strings attached.
Now, I had to explain respect and rapport so that you'd understand "drive and draw". How much your horse respects you equals how well they'll drive away from you, so how much rapport you have equals how well they'll draw (or come) to you. Last night he stuck to me like glue!! It was the coolest feeling :) I asked him to back up- drive- a few steps by simply flicking my fingers and drew him back by stepping back and changing my body language. I played most of the 7 Games with him with him staying with me. For those of you none Parelli students, there are 7 types of games horses play: 1-Friendly, 2-Porcupine (steady pressure), 3- Driving (implied pressure- in the air), 4-Yo-yo (drive & draw), 5-Circle, 6-Sideways and 7-Squeeze.
I asked for a Yo-yo, then drove his hind end toward me, used Porcupine on his tail to pull him towards me and then drew him backwards to me too. When he turned to face me I sent him out on a circle. This is where it got really cool... He trotted off, decidedly not in a circle so I chased him out- using the psychology of "you don't want to be with me? Let me help you go away!" He cantered 2/3rds around the corral then stopped and looked at me. When horses look at you, with both ears and eyes, they're asking a question. I whistled to see if he'd come to me. He did, at a trot. I took a couple steps back and smooched to which he responded to with a toss of his head and broke into a canter and ran almost the whole way across the pen to me!!!! Thats pretty much a first. I had the biggest bug-eatin grin you'd ever seen on my face after that. I gave him a cookie and walked away. I knew he was willing to stay after that, so I trimmed a hoof before leaving him. I still had a gate to get him through, which he squeezed (turn, face and wait) through and stuck to me, even with the other horses around. He walked with me and stayed close enough that I could keep my arm on his neck. Yes, it was a very good day :D
p.s. it is human to have 'just-one-more-itis'... "just one more jump..." "just one more lap..." "just one more game..." your horse just thinks, "nothing I do is good enough... there's no release". So it's a learned thing to find a good, or great, place to stop and remember that if you leave off there tomorrow will be better.

Hmmm... How Interesting!

"What goes up must come down." Gravity, emotions, even play time with our horses. Last night was amazing and I thought (hoped) that today would around the same area. NOPE! Maliki saw me today and took off for the other end of the (4.5 acre) pasture. I tried to follow by mozying towards him and other two horses, but they were having none of it. I swear they were laughing as they ran back up the hill to the opposite fence. I finally got back up and decided to change my plan/ strategy, so I laid down in the snow a few yards away. Oh boy, were they not expecting that. They started trotting around and snorting. Red finally came over and investigated my boots. I had to leave and head to work, but even stopping by after Maliki still wanted nothing to do with me. I took my time to get King and Red by me and decided I'd play with King. That was alot of fun, but King (my aunt's level 3 horse) knows everything. When I could see a good place to quit I let him go. Maliki had been watching the whole time. After playing the Catching Game for a minute or two he finally came over. I rubbed him a bit, gave him a carrot and left. All I could think of was "Hmm... how interesting!" Guess we'll see how tomorrow goes. You know, for all this "trouble" and emotion I'm very glad that horses aren't robots and have a brain of their own cause it makes me use mine.

Take the TIme it Takes so it Takes Less Time...

My partner in this journey is a 9 year old, Left Brain Introvert, quarter/paint horse named Maliki.
He doesn't like to exert too much energy and wants to know "what's in it for me?" when I ask him to do anything. Lately he hasn't had a positive look on his face when I get him. For those of you who are thinking, "horses can't get "looks" on their faces..."; believe me, they can; anything from sweet and innocent to thumbing their nose at you.
In readying myself for going to the center I've been watching all the (Parelli) material I have. In one of them Linda, Pat's wife, is talking, "You'll keep hitting a wall: 'can't get my horse to stick to me...', 'my horse won't meet me at the gate...', 'my horse isn't positive around me...'." "You know what that wall will be labeled? 'You didn't take the time.'" Oh boy, and 'Time' is a 'Key to Success' and a 'Quality of a Horseman'. I don't know if any of you reading this have ever had something hit you right between the eyes- it's not the best feeling. Well, hearing her say that hit me like a 2x4. That's exactly what my horse is doing! So that night I resolved to spend undemanding time with my horse for a week. Today was day 2 of that. Now, it hasn't been above freezing for the last couple weeks but I had to do it- despite the cold. (My mom earlier said she couldn't understand how or why I do it. "Love. Thats it. Nothing else could make me.")
Anyways, by the time I got out there today the sun was down and it was getting cold(er) fast. I sat and let them all sniff me for as long as I could (til I started shivering actually). I wanted to play somewhat with him. Now, here's the cool part, he put his head into the halter and kept it down so I could tie it, followed me without resistance, played several "games" with barely any force from me, trotted multiple laps in a circle even offered to circle a foot or so away. He then backed towards me, without any pressure on his tail or the rope, went sideways with me still behind him and finally trotted with me back there!! For him that was amazing! I could barely contain myself :) I stopped there, took his halter off and walked away. When I heard him follow me and come up to walk beside me I knew I'd gotten "it" for that play session. I fed em all and left.
My toes may be frozen and me barely able to speak since my lips are so cold, but knowing that the relationship between us is getting that much better is well worth it. "Take the time is takes so it takes less time." Man, those words never were so true.

The Journey of a Thousand Miles Starts with a Single Step

Well, this is it. I found out in September that I was accepted as a 'Working Student', now referred to as 'Entry Level Resident', and in November was awarded a partial scholarship for the 4-week course- 'Fast Track' (which begins July 4th).
This has been my dream for the past 3, almost 4 years, now. I've been studying this program- Parelli Natural Horsemanship (www.parelli.com) - for the past 5. I'm hoping, and will do everything in my power, to become an 'Extern' then 'Intern' (Freshman and Sophomore of "normal" colleges).
This blog for the next long while will be my way to let y'all know how it's all going: from getting all my tack and gear together, to how I manage (with God's help) to get all the money together, where the relationship with my 4-legged partner, Maliki, is and finally how it is to leave home and really strike out on my own to live my dream. Yeah, I went to Canada for 3 months, but even that was to help with getting a spot at this place.
I'm not sure exactly how long I'll be there, shoot, I'm not even sure exactly when I'm leaving or what my "ultimate" goal is. But I do know this is where I've wanted to be for a long time. So here's to the journey :)

Addicted...

"Hi, my name is Kaylan and I'm addicted to Home Makeover projects."

It's true!! I swear there's a high when I work on those projects and I'm not talking about the paint fumes and late nights. Altho, those might be a small facter... haha!

Since we, yes I have been to all but one of them and am part of the team, started in 2004 we have done 9 homes, raised 2.5 million $ and been in People Magazine.

Putnams - 2004, Rose Parks - Adelle (84) and her two mentally handicap daughters. I introduced them to Easy Cheese, and they come to almost every reveal since.

Richardson - 2005, Pleasant Grove - Couple with 20 kids, yep you read that right, most with some disability or handicap. One of the oldest girls baby sat my siblings, and we helped unload their storage units on my 15th birthday.

Smeltzer - 2006, Sandy - Father, 3 kids and 1 grandchild have extremely rare (family makes up 15% of world pop. with) disease. Mother is mostly deaf. First house we knocked down. Vicky and Dave come up out to every house since and volunteer.

Hanson - 2007, Sugerhouse - Stacey was shot at Trolley Square a few days before Valentine's Day. Being in a wheelchair his dream home would've had to be sold. We made it wheelchair accessable, and my dad did the excavator work.

Shoemakers - 2007, Salt Lake - Mom and daughter were involved in car crash that killed the mother and caused the daughter to be a parapalegic. We put in a ramp and new paint.

Groves - 2008, Taylorsville - All 3 young boys have severe health problems and the black mold in their home only made it worse. Tore down the house and rebuilt it in 10 days, Mandaleena has been designer on other projects and helped my parents out medical funding Q & A's.

Thill - 2008, Orem - Foster parents with 14 kids from 15 to 2 years in age. Gutted the house, redid the yard. Brought the family home down to the minute of being done with their rooms. Oldest daughter is a good friend of mine and they've helped on every home since.

Hill - 2009, Pleasant Grove - Father has melinoma, and was unable to finish his "Honey Do List". We repainted, cleaned and refirbished their home in a few days. My dad tuned their piano (the last home makeover he'd be able to help with). I met the boy who would be my first boyfriend, and my mom and dad reconnected with an old friend- Scott Painter.

Jensen - 2009, Provo - Boys have handicaps and the house was unlivable. We finished it from the framing out in a week. A few nights I was the P.M. (project manager) on site. This was the house I did the most work on: caulking, painting, decorating, cleaning, etc.

Sevy - 2009, Lindon - This was the only project I wasn't here for; I was in Canada.

Kuester - 2010, Orem - We knocked it down this morning, the foundation will be poured by tonight and the framing will be up tomorrow. They will come home April 23rd at 6pm. I can't wait for the good times we'll have on this one.

So yes, I'm an addict but it's something that helps others. The media's great but it's the funny, silly, crazy things that happen late at night ("Hoe makeover"... late nights caulking and insane moments) that make it memorable. And after the cameras are gone and the family's settling in I'm looking for my next fix cause this is one addiction that I'm not giving up anytime soon.

What's up with culture??

Earlier today I walked into the room as my litle sister was watching "iCarly" a teen show on Nickalodean. The male lead in the show was being teased for never kissing a girl; one of the female leads, a friend of his, had spread the news on their show 'iCarly'. She later apologized and said that she'd never been kissed either. Granted they are both in high school, but I couldn't help but think "why's it such a big deal?" I had friends who were "going out" in 6th grade, making out in 8th and, sadly, doing it in 12th.
I swore years ago that I would wait to date til I was 18 and out of high school, cause it's all drama, drama, drama. And frankly a waste of time during those years. I thought it was lame that kids were getting bad grades, not to mention broken hearts, all because of who's with who.
'What's the deal with our culture these days? ... You're thought weird, or worse, if you've never been with someone of the opposite sex and yet girls complain that guys aren't "gentlemen" anymore..'
Shouldn't we be more worried about treating people well as friends and siblings than if/ when we get kissed??

Store High In Transit

Going back through my old blogs, of which there are less than 2 dozen, I saw a post written by my dad (Paul) in which he referred to "store high in transit". Some of you probably don't know that that is where we got one of our culture's favorite swear words.
When sailors had to go on long trips they couldn't freeze their meat, they had to bring the live animal, well all of the feces would create ammonia which caused sailors to get sick and in alot of cases perish. The sailors had to scoop it up and put it in crates until they could dispose of it on land. They finally found that if you put the animal waste up high people wouldn't get sick, hence the term "S. H. I. T. - Store High In Transit".
Often times that seems the most appropriate, or should I say most used, word that comes out of our mouths when you jam your finger in a drawer or almost drop a bowling ball on your toe or get knocked on your butt in the dirt. It's what we use in the expression, "S--t hit the fan". That happened to me, and getting a faceful of it is not fun but sometimes that's the best wake-up call. So the next time you go to ask/tell someone to not say that remember that it just means "Store High In Transit" (that allowed my dad to use it ;P)